Mystic and Warrior

mystic-yogaI’ve been in a dilemma for the last 6 months regarding some choices in my personal life. Listening to you during the retreat talking about acceptance, I realized that there is still something I don’t understand. I am a warrior, a fighter by nature, but at the same time, I ‘suffer’ from something that you could call mysticism. Also, I often find myself lost in confusion, blocked and paralyzed in crucial moments of my life. Whenever I encounter obstacles, I have the same old dilemma: is it the Universe who is testing my faith, my determination to go on? Are these temptations/trials sent to me in order to make me stronger, to make me grow on a spiritual level, to see how profoundly I want to reach that goal? Or are these obstacles signs sent to me in order to show me that I am on a wrong way, and I should change direction? I am now in the process of accepting a failure in my personal life (I had a dream which did not come true, even if I tried hard to overcome the obstacles encountered on my way), but I am divided in my heart: I am wondering what if I could have done more, maybe just one last step and I would have gotten there… On the one hand, I have the inner belief that if something is meant to happen, if something is written in my destiny, then it is going to eventually come true (this is my ‘mystical’ personality). But, on the other hand, I believe in creating your own destiny, in being disciplined and working hard to achieve things in life (this is my ‘warrior’ personality). How do you know it is the right moment to stop and accept failure (if failure exists spiritually speaking)? How can the warrior make peace with the mystic inside of me?

 

 

Your dilemma/question is a very common one, but the way you expressed it is uniquely good.

In order to answer your question, I will break your letter into different fragments, and respond to each one.

 

I’ve been in a dilemma for the last 6 months regarding some choices in my personal life. Listening to you during the retreat talk about acceptance, I realized that I probably have a difficulty with it. I am a warrior, a fighter by nature, but at the same time, I suffer from something that you could call mysticism. Also, I often find myself lost in confusion, blocked and paralyzed in crucial moments of my life.

— In my understanding, you don’t suffer from ‘mysticism’, but you have been blessed with it. It is a great gift, like a whisper that is telling you that your wishes and desires – what you want or don’t want – are not the only, nor the highest power in the Universe, but that there is ‘another power’ that has a different, larger vision about what needs to happen or could happen.

About the confusion, welcome to the mystic’s club! :)

 

Whenever I encounter obstacles, I have the same old dilemma: is it the Universe who is testing my faith, my determination to go on? Are these temptations/trials sent to me in order to make me stronger, to make me grow on a spiritual level, to see how profoundly I want to reach that goal?

— Yes, it may very well be.

 

Or are these obstacles signs sent to me in order to show me that I am on a wrong way, and I should change direction?

— Yes, it may very well be.

 

I am now in the process of accepting a failure in my personal life (I had a dream which did not come true, even if I tried hard to overcome the obstacles encountered on my way), but I am divided in my heart: I am wondering what if I could have done more, maybe just one last step and I would have gotten there…

— This is where you went wrong in your thinking. You can only do what you can do, in the moment, right now. You cannot look back, not even five minutes later and say, ‘I should have done it differently’. No! Five minutes later you are a different person that has a different perspective on things; five minutes later you are a person that may know more about the situation than the one that was there five minutes earlier. If you did not do more it is because you could not do more. And it is right here that the warrior and the mystic meet. The warrior can and should do everything that he/she can at any particular moment, but he CANNOT look back and doubt his action. The only one that is allowed to look back is the mystic, with his love, acceptance and understanding. If the warrior feels that he can do more, that he has the opportunity or possibility to do more, then the mystic should step aside, let the warrior do whatever he feels he can do, and then, when the action is done, when the moment has passed, the warrior will step aside and allow the mystic to step in.

 

On the one hand, I have the inner belief that if something is meant to happen, if something is written in my destiny, then it is going to eventually come true (this is my ‘mystical’ personality).

— Yes, it is true.

 

But, on the other hand, I believe in creating your own destiny, in being disciplined and working hard to achieve things in life (this is my ‘warrior’ personality). 

— Yes, it is true.

 

How do you know it is the right moment to stop and accept failure (if failure exists spiritually speaking)?

— You know to stop when there are no clear indications of what to do. And the indications always appear as thoughts/opportunities. If you do not know what to do, then that is the moment for the mystic to come in… until the next clear thought or opportunity shows its face; and then it’s the turn of the warrior. And on and on and on. There is failure only if you forget about the mystic and allow the warrior to mistake its job.

The mystic is the one that knows that everything can be taken as a gift, that everything can be used to evolve, to mature and so, how can it be failure? The warrior’s job is to fight with all its might at every moment, and to plan for future fights using his knowledge of past experiences, but to look back and doubt its efforts is not its job. So, how can it be failure?

But yes, if the mystic is gone, and the warrior starts to cry over his past, imagining that it should have been different from what it was, then failure appears.

 

How can the warrior make peace with the mystic inside of me?

— The warrior is in charge of the action of the moment and the plan of that action. The mystic is in charge of the result of that action. The mystic understands that the warrior can do only so much, given a particular moment and a particular understanding of that moment. The mystic understands that everything is given by Life (the Universe, God, or whatever you like to call it) including the possibilities of the warrior at that particular moment. The mystic lets the warrior fight, but doesn’t let him doubt his strength. The mystic allows the warrior to learn from the past, but doesn’t allow him to cry over it, because the mystic knows that the warrior can only do as much as Life allows him to do. But the mystic doesn’t intervene during the fight. Or, if he does, it is only to encourage the warrior to do all he can, to use all his strength, all his might. If there is any possibility of action left, the mystic encourages the warrior to act (and those possibilities appear as thoughts or emotions in the moment about something that can be done, NEVER about something that could or should have been done). When there are no clear indications of what to do, then the mystic appears and does his job… until the next possibility appears, when he steps aside, and lets the warrior do his job.

If they both do what they need to do, and only what they need to do, then harmony appears and we flow with life.

I hope this helps.

 

PS: One more thing.

In time (in a short time or in a long time, it doesn’t matter) the mystic may mature and may be able to see that God is not really so interested on what can be achieved at the level of the likes/dislikes of the person, what I want or don’t want, but that the real achievement is God itself. All these interactions about the mystic and the warrior are about getting things from the world, including material things like houses, money, relationships, and/or immaterial things, like love, security, pleasure or well-being.

But sooner or later, the mystic may realize that his real job is to find God, not God stuffs, and God can only be found in Being, in what is independent of what happens outside. Being is the awareness of the interactions between the warrior and the mystic, between what I want or don’t want, what I get or don’t get. Being is the awareness that is aware of your ups and downs, happiness and sufferings, failures and successes. This presence is what is always here, always aware; what can be found right now, in the silent existence of your own being.

 

 

 

 

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